"You didn't know about it? I put it on Facebook."

I'm so sick of that sentence, you wouldn't believe.

So yeah, I'm one of those rare 21-35 year olds who isn't ever on Facebook. I have an account, but I don't use it. I put up one profile picture, and I've never posted anything, and I have no real intention to do so at any time in the near or distant future.

My friends are lovely people and at first they were fairly neutral about it. But now my friends are starting to get a little passive aggressive. I'm getting a lot of these rather unnecessary statements by friends and family who love to use the Facebook.

"We can't get in touch with you. Are you trying to be elusive?"

I'd say this one I hate the most. Elusive? Seriously? I have a phone number, 5 email accounts (I mean, don't you get email alerts from FB anyway if there is new content to look at?), 4 websites, a blog :), and a home address. I text, AIM, write letters, and I'm an active member of many sites and forums. I've spent years establishing myself in the online world but I guess none of that matters if I never post to my wall.

"We want to know how you are. You never contact us."

I get this from family a lot. I apparently never talk to them, therefore I'm trying to be a non joiner. Of course, I am the one to annually send out hand made Christmas cards with my email address and websites on each and every one, but how do I know if they ever even received them? I don't, because I rarely get acknowledgement on it. Last time I checked, phone lines went both ways.

"I didn't *blank* or *blank* about you."

Geeze, really? Again, I have friends I've known for years who have never looked through my online portfolio, yet I know what they do and how long they have done it.

I look at the whole thing differently. If I want to know you, I'll investigate it. Frankly, I think it's lazy, this one stop shopping communicative mentality a lot of these social network sites promote. And what's worse, it this is not new. Everyone had to be on AIM. Then there was Frienster, then MySpace, Gmail. The obsessive need for everyone to have a website. OH MY GAWD YOU NEED A WEBSITE! I remember the fad for Delicious Library and Skype. Twitter!! Then it was a user on this site or that.

My reasons for passing on the Facebook are the same for me skimming the majority of the ones I mentioned above. I just don't want to waste that much time. I do understand the potential that it serves for a number of things, and i get that it targets a large group of people fairly quickly and bluntly, but I'm simply numb to it all.

I don't want to learn another social media's language and etiquette. That's a big reason right there. I don't want to know what a wall means or a poke, or sending people virtual stupid gifts.

I don't want to know what people are thinking or saying at every moment of the day. I like silence and being alone with my thoughts. Just because you expose more stuff about yourself to strangers does not mean that you are more known.

I don't want to be unwillingly advertised to. That's why I got rid of my television. I one time spent ten minutes closing out those ads on the side bar, thinking I could get rid of them. Nope, nope, nope.

So call me an old fart. I'm fine with it. And I'll say this about the next media wave that washes out Facebook, too. Because there will be another one. There always is.

Okay, I know this was not my normal blog fodder. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. More sewing next post, scout's honor.


  1. I cannot be mad at you. When I moved to GA from NJ, I realized that the people I left behind, family included, were never going to pay money to keep in contact with me or make their own effort. I have even been told that since I moved it was my responsibility. Yeah, not going to work.

    You do you. You keep up this blog so if they want to reach out via computer, they can do so here.


    PS: I keep refusing my mother's friend request. Some things just have to be done in person.

  2. I'm SO with you. I had an account and deleted it- not just deactivated, but deleted. I have a lot of issues with facebook.
    And seriously, if people really wanted to get in touch with me, there's so many ways to do it.
    Maybe it's the "out of sight out of mind" thing... but I'm ok with that ;)
    People who want to keep up with us with find other ways to do so, and realize that us not being on facebook has nothing to do with not wanting to talk to them.

  3. I'm with you on facebook. Or, I guess I'm not with you (or anyone else) on facebook. :)

  4. I'm not in the 21-35 group but still a large component of my friends are on Facebook which I am NOT. I don't see any reason to be and I'm sticking with that. So I totally understand! :)

  5. I hear you, woman, I hear you. I am on FB because I have to be for other reasons. Both blogs networked there, etc. BUT, big but. I have said the same thing as you to dozens of people (I only really "let in" people I know, for real...a few others with whom I've had email relationships -- professional but we're friendly.)

    So. Same as you. Two blogs (one doesn't take comments but hey,it publishes nearly every weekday), Twitter (which I find helpful to communicate quickly w/aid workers, etc. on the ground), 2 email addresses that I answer to quickly (I wasn't a reporter on deadline fer nuttin'), etc. I mean honest to bleep. "How are you?" "We haven't heard from you." Really? I've emailed, texted, left msgs on your home voice mail & your cell phone voice mail. Give me a freaking break is what I'd like to say. Mainly I just say, "you know, I'm on FB only now & again to update important information & to communicate with people in certain countries who find it much easier to have "everything" in one place.

    I have also said, "Why not comment on the blog, it would be so cool to hear from you."

    You know the answer I get? NOTHING. Absolutely, nothing. The virtual equivalent of a toddler holding hands over ears & chanting "la la la la, i don't hear you, la la la"


    Though, to be balanced: I have many friends who do not update on FB or Twitter their every darn move. They don't play the games or poke, etc. So I hesitate to give a blanket-boo to the whole enterprise. And, you know, whether we like it or not - FB has surpassed Google in pages/searches/etc. Yep.

    I'm beginning to sew again (well, soon) & I find you a real inspiration. Thank you so much!

  6. As I've worked in the communications industry I love my digital communications devices, and I like facebook. But I also like to see/talk to people in person. I still write letters and put them in the mailbox.

    The biggest thing is to know when to say no. (and I always hated myspace and not really keen on twitter).

  7. p.s. love your blog, I just started following it a little while ago

  8. Oh, you hit a nerve today. I am SO not on FB. You're right, it was just one learn-the-new-thing too many for me.

    And while we are discussing annoying things: Why must I get out of my "comfort zone?" I worked thru puberty issues, young adulthood issues, parenting issues, to get to the place where I can call my life my comfort zone. I'm not leaving it.

  9. I recently quite Facebook and I feel great. It was such a time sucker. Seriously, FB is for cyber-narcissists.

    Thanks for posting your thoughts on this. I think one of the things that has hurt me the most since quitting Facebook is Facebook knew about my li'l sister's new baby before I did.

  10. Hi everyone :)

    Im not mad at FB, it does what it does well. Im more angry at this notion people give that I'm the one who is hurting myself because I choose not to use it.

    I completely grasp the importance in social networking. I totally see it as a staple in modern commerce, Im not blind. But what I don't agree with is FB or any other network being the whole pie. I thought the whole pie was the internet itself.

  11. Call me an old fashioned, but I don't do facebook or twitter (and honestly don't even know most of the other stuff you mentioned. I really have no interest in what folks are doing every second. I was at one really neat art gathering, and several of the participants were doing more twittering than actual art or socializing with the people there in the flesh. I love my blog, and have met some really wonderful people that way - but just don't have the interest to do the more superficial (to me anyway) social networking gigs. Call me lazy or crazy, I'd rather get an email, phone call or a good old fashioned letter!


  12. I'm in the 21- 35 age bracket too, and I'm not on Facebook, Twitter or MSN. I don't want to put in the time to understand it all and frankly, I don't see the point. I have an MSN account and used to get a lot of comments from friends about 'never being online' (which was true) but that phenomenon seems forgotten now. I have a blog and enjoy it and I like 'meeting' new people through that but I'm really not willing to put energy into every new social networking hype.

  13. I don't know much about Facebook or Twitter (not on either) but have friends and relations who are. I presume from what they tell me that the point is to let everyone know their news at the same tme - instead of contacting people individually. So if you don't check out their facebook then they think your not interested in them! The whole thing seems very impersonal to me - not sociable at all!

  14. Yeah, I'm getting tired of that line from people too! Oddly enough, I just had a long conversation with a dear friend yesterday over FB and our inability to just "kick the habit" even though neither of us like it or visit it more than once a month!

    I signed up for FB back when you had to have a student email address to get an account, and I liked it then. I was able to keep up with other class members for homework/project purposes, coordinate study times and the occasional social outing. But I now find it overwhelming and somewhat useless in my life! The only reason I'm still on there is because of the handful of people who I care about, but don't hear from often who are on it.

    That being said, I hate the privacy issues and the fact that people just assume since you're on FB, you've see something they posted or they expect you to get in contact with them via FB. Like you, I have quite a few other ways to get hold of me online and off, and do you know how rare it is for me to get a phone call or email (let alone an old fashioned letter!) from people who are on FB? *sigh* I don't know... part of me is getting more and more sick of the inter-connectivity of social networking and the expectation that you *should* be participating in these. I understand and appreciate their usefulness, but I get tired of the "constantly connected" mentality that a lot of people have in regards to social networking. I'd much rather sit and create something, or chat with a friend on the phone, or write a blog post/email than spend my day on FB!

    I got rid of cable earlier this year, and it's been amazing the difference it's made both time-wise and mentally. I often wonder if kicking FB would have a similar freeing effect... lol.

    Anyway, thanks for posting the rant. So timely.

    ♥ Casey | blog

  15. "It's not technology we should be afraid of. It's a life where we're always connected, always interrupted, always distracted, always bombarded with information and requests. It's a life where we have no time to create, or connect with real people." Leo Baubata

  16. I'm 21 and I have never had a facebook account. I get flack from my friends CONSTANTLY. But I always tell them that they won't see me with an account unless I move out of the country.

  17. A conversation, a phone call, a letter, an e-mail, to me, say “This is going on in my life now and I would like to share it with you.” Facebook strikes me as a personnel breaking news platform where no interaction is desired.

    But then again, I feel when you are sharing a meal with a person and he/she spends the time talking on the cell phone is totally lacking in respect and good manners.

  18. I just found your blog!I think I'll be a regular as I vintage sew for a stout woman - ME!

    I agree on FB, my husband uses it regularly but it's good for him, he struggles with speech since a brain injury, and I know for him it's great he 'talks' to people all the time. For me, it's total time sucker I hate it, I also hate the way some people think that I want to know everything they do all the time! Mind you I am on twitter, but I don't mind twitter it doesn't suck hours of my life away!

    I've been reassessing stuff lately and I spend too much time online or watching TV, urrrrgh need to change! Especially when I profess not to have the time to sew, mmmm


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