More personal stuff.

Thanks for all the great words of encouragement last week on my Just Another Fat Girl post. I think that post had the most replies (to the post and via email) ever! It felt good to know that even when I feel small and mis-represented to the rest of the world, I have other people to connect with on the blog and beyond.

Just a follow up to that situation. I had my follow up appointment yesterday. Different doctor. A much better doctor. She actually listened to me and we talked about my lifestyle. Her eyes practically bugged out of her head when I told her I eat about a pound of leafy greens a day. She looked over my blood work and it was good. No chance of diabetes, or high cholesterol (in fact she said my cholesterol was fantastic). That made me feel good. My blood pressure is still a little high. It was down from last week, but a week by week go isn't the best gauge of status, so she put me on some meds for it. Nothing too serious.

My BP is 137/90, she wants it about 130/85. I think a big portion of it is stress related. How much I hate my apartment and don't have a good level of quiet. The lack of a full time job, and just worrying about rent. You know, life stresses. I at times can feel my self shiver and I think that's the pressure rising. I try to calm, but considering all I've been through these past few years, a few ticks of high BP is a mild causality.

Exercise is what she stressed, and I know I need to do more of that. Dance is really helping and I'm getting all limber and having a blast. I'm taking a collegiate Shag class, and for anyone who has done Shag, you know what a workout it is. I'm also taking another round of east cost classes and I try to get out and dance a few times a week. I really do love it.

I'm also missing my bike. When I lived in San Francisco, I rode a bike everywhere. Here I walk, but it does take up a lot of time, and LA is starting to get more bike conscious, so perhaps it's time I look at getting another set of wheels. That, and I want to ride in Critical Mass one day.

As for the 'allergies', the antihistamine didn't work, so this doctor prescribed me Flo-Nase. I'm leery about having goo pushed up my nose once a day, but I'm also tired of the throat congestion. She said if this does not work, then she will have me see an ear/nose/throat specialist. She's going to give it about 6 weeks, then we will see. I'll let you all know what's the deal in six weeks time :)

I also wanted to pick your brains on something.

I seems that Erica is back in my life.
What frustrates me most about this return is that it happened a bit at a time. I was walking to dance class and she and her hubby picked me up. It kind of went from there. But it's not like we are friends. I don't really get any sort of looks of conversation, or invites, or general wanting to be in my company when she is around. She just seems to think she needs to take care of me.

As you all know, I'm the type of person who likes to talk things out. That way, if there *is* some sort of misunderstanding, then the involved parties can reboot and reach common ground. I just did that with my brother not too long ago, and with another gal whom I thought didn't like me. It turns out, she thought I didn't like her either! Now we are starting what could be a great friendship!

Erica won't talk. It's like she wants to live in that unresolved drama, and I don't. I've tried to chat or to confront, to use a better phrase, but she blanks out, like I asked her the square root of something. It's really frustrating because when we are at the same events, I feel she is trying to one up me or out do me on 'who talks to whom' and that is so high school. Plus I don't care for people who 'do' things for me yet who don't 'like' me as a way to gain some sort of friendship currency. You know what I mean?

I want to pull her to the side and say, 'we need to talk', but I don't want to harm her hubby with her crying and blabbering about said talk. He has to deal with enough of her pointless innate dialogue every day. I honestly don't know if I want to be 'friends' with her again, and I really don't need her shlepping me around just because we are going to the same place. Your advice on the matter would be much appreciated.

Okay, thanks everyone for letting me vent about this stuff. Who knew the inter-webs would be a great place for this!? I promise to get back to sewing shortly. It's just I've had a lot of crazy on my plate.

I hope you all have a great Thursday!


  1. I think it is wonderful you found a new doc and that you are on steps towards figuring out your throat ick. I love that you dance and when my hubby gets home I can't wait to go dancing again!
    Thoughts on Erica, I have been there and done that and from personal experience I recommend walking away. I despise drama and for me a high maintenance person who thrives on drama is to be avoided like the plague. I am the type to answer a person honestly, bluntly at times, but honestly. I think just letting it go at this point will be one less thing for your shoulders to carry and one less thing to add to those stressors (blood pressure). Yet regardless, always choose do do what is best for you in a situation that has negatives. Bran

  2. Too much drama. She sounds toxic, manipulative, and an emotional vampire. "Friends" like this are an energy suck. You deserve better.

  3. Though I'm a fine one to talk, because I'm going through the same type of thing with a "friend" also, ditch Erika. Who needs the stress? Tell her you'll get your own ride. No need to explain anything to her. What for? Turn the tables on her and let her be the one guessing what the status of your "friendship" is. These types of people are not my definition of a friend, that is, someone you can rely upon. The silent treatment she gives you really makes her sound like she's very passive aggressive. And besides, from your description of her, it sounds like she isn't the type of person you respect. So why tolerate having her in your life?

  4. Shelley, do you ever use a neti pot? It's a way of irrigating the nasal passages with a saline solution (you mix yourself) and a very gentle and effective way of soothing allergies. You can generally find one at any health food store. A very good investment!

  5. Glad this week is going a little better. My sister is in 8th grade and just starting to deal with how weird and mean some people can act. It is really hard and she was kind of depressed to find out that it doesn't go away.

  6. I think that I would pass on this 'friendship'. Too much drama. Too much stress. Whether she is calling ahead to make travel plans or she just sees me walking and pulls over to offer a ride I'd just politely turn down her offer ["Oh, you are so kind, but really I just need my walking time"]. If seriously pressed, or more likely if some one else mentions my refusal to accept a ride I might just mention that walking is part of my personal exercise plan and then change the subject.

    She obviously wants to feel superior. I'd make sure that those sorts of tactics just publicly roll of my back. You might find the respect of a better class of friends that way.

    So glad to hear you've found a doctor willing to listen to the patient first and then act.

  7. Jane, you are right. I don't respect her. Huh, I really don't.
    As for the allergies, my nose is fine. This is all in my throat. It feels just beneath my tongue, but I can breath just great.
    Oh well, we will see.

  8. Glad you have found a doctor who will listen to you. Do you know what you are allergic too? Even if you can't get away from the allergen (like dust mites) keeping them down really helps (eliminating rugs/carpets, a bed sack to contain the mattress, and the list goes on). Your doctor may be able to direct you to websites that can help.
    As for Erica ditch her.

  9. I just went back and read your orignal post about Erica and it's got me all pensive... I remember being in a similar situation but I was in Erica's place. I had a friend who I respected quite a bit but who reguarly would make comments that hurt me. I felt that I was constantly going out of my way to accomodate her, just as I would for any friend, but my efforts were not reciprocated. Eventually we were no longer friends, and in hindsight I din't handle it as well as I should have. Once things started breaking down, my friend and I lost all ability to communicate. I totally get that there is a balance to how responsible you are for what you say and others' reactions and in my case I just couldn't find that balance. Some people can find that balance but we weren't able to.

  10. My 18 year old learned this recently: Evaluate true friends by the effect they have on your life--Are they adding to, subtracting from, multiplying, or dividing your life? Also, from my own experience Flonase is good, be careful how you spray, getting too close could cause nose burn. Finally, praying that you find you find the job of your dreams :)!!

  11. Very late comment, but I stumbled across your blog, linked from another retro sewing blog (I love your style btw!) and this and your previous doctor post caught my eye. This might not be helpful at all, but on the off chance it is, I thought I would mention it -- if they haven't run a thyroid test for you yet, request a *full* thyroid panel, and then get the actual numbers (not just "it's normal") from the doctor and cross check your results with the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologist's guidelines for "normal" thyroid function. The main test for thyroid function is called Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH), and the AACE considers anything under 0.3 TSH to be hyperthyroid and anything over 3.0 TSH to be hypothyroid. But a lot of labs and doctors are still using standards that are 10 or even 30 years old, which say that anything under 5.0 or even 10.0 is normal. It's not, and you can feel very ill at even a smidge over 3.0 or under 0.3. Thyroid antibodies are the other very important test, and can indicate an ongoing autoimmune thyroid problem even if your TSH is within normal ranges. I believe that Thyroid auto-antibodies are supposed to be "less than 30" to be normal, and in someone with thyroid disease will often read "more than 300, too large to measure". There are other numbers involved in a full thyroid panel (T3, T4, T4 uptake, etc) that an experienced endocrinologist (try to find one who is a member of the AACE) will know how to interpret. And even if your TSH comes back between 0.3 and 3.0, if you have antibodies or your other numbers are off, treatment can help (and sometimes the adrenals need to be looked at as well, but again, a competent endocrinologist will know how to proceed).

    I mention this because I've been chronically ill for the better part of a decade and had more than my fair share of really crappy doctors, and through all that I've learned that you *have* to be an advocate for yourself. You have to double check the lab's findings against standards published by national organizations. Thyroid problems can cause fatigue, dry skin, hair loss, blood pressure problems, difficulty gaining or losing weight, difficulty with pregnancy, etc -- and a tight feeling in your throat, caused by the thyroid gland actually being swollen. Like I said, it might not have any bearing on your situation, but I thought it couldn't hurt to mention it. :)


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