I wish I could quantify where I am right now in the year. I wish I were feeling better about where I am, but not guilty because so many I know are worse off. I wish I felt better now like I did 4 months ago. I wish I didn't feel so cold inside.
I know it will pass, it always does but I hate feeling this way anyway. I'm going to occupy my time with projects and art and working on my own quality existence. Damn hippie :)
Fashion Show Extreme!!
Hi all!
Thanks for your words on my last post. But I am done with swing dancing.
I may look at it again next year, but I don't think so.
I have a lot of free time now. Truthfully, I've been sleeping more this week. It's been good. I also decided to do a 10 day juice fast just to clear out my system. You can read about that a bit here.
I have spent the week going on long walks and doing some sewing. I've finished a ton of projects, some for other people and some for me.
Swing Dancing: 1, Shelley: 0
I'm quitting swing dancing.
I Just have no heart for it anymore. I was thinking about doing it after Camp Hollywood to tell you the truth. Recent social dancing and not making the team was the real last straw. I can't keep putting myself through it.
I feel like I'm a joke. I've just come to the realization that I will never be able to earn respect as a dancer in the scene. I will always be the paying student, no matter what skills I develop. I can't compete with the cute girls who can flirt their way into dance lessons and in 6 months be respected as a dancer. Why continue to try?
You just are not considered a viable follow unless you can do arials. Period. Now, whether or not you DO them is different, but unless its perceived that you can, why is a lead going to invest in you if that is what takes you far as a dancer, right? But guys, they can be 250-300+ pounds and be an amazing dancer. I choke on the double standard.
This feels like I'm in an abusive relationship, because I love swing dancing so much, but it does not love me. I'm tired of the hours of practice outside of class on my own, the money, the time, the passion I've put into it (only second to my drawing/art to tell you the truth), and I'm still just a customer. I can't get past how people see me, and why should I take that burden? I can't control how people see me but I am constantly seeking approval from people in this scene. Why am I doing this to myself?
I don't have much fun when social dancing. I have no opportunities to hone my skills. I can't find a dance partner, and I'm spent of taking classes that don't improve my skills.
My heart is broken, because I don't think what I want is unreasonable. I want some respect, especially when you see girls who start out where you are, and they have it. I've never gotten it since I've been doing this. I'm just a 'newbie' whether it's classes, or events, or the bar. No one comes to me and says, "Man, I hoped you be here so we can dance together!" I can't tell you how many people I've said that to.
The scene is toxic for me, and it won. I'm letting it go.
I'm looking into yoga. We will see what happens.
Crammed Schedule
Good morning everyone! It's Friday and you know what that means!? THE WEEKEND!! A nice restbit from a hectic week.
I know I always mention to you how busy I am. I don't do it to seem like a Super Woman, but I am known for cramming in as much as I can into 'free time' or 'down time'. Why? I just don't like to waste time. I'm always day dreaming or thinking of stories or planning things or whatever, so my days are always filled. Actual activity as I'm getting ready for, well, actual activity, I also like to plan.
I don't mean plan as in write down calendar wise or anything that extreme.
More of a map of the day, generally planned in 15 min increments,
noted in my head for the most part.
My day starts in the morning, 6:00AM. Depending on how much I pushed myself last night, I will have either take a shower that night or I'll do it this morning. I don't leave the house until 7:50AM, but I like the extra decompression time when I wake up. I generally fill this time with odd projects if I can manage it.
Right now I'm working on the red jeans. They are coming along.
Some of my Camp Hollywood wardrobe
Good morning everyone.
I've been in my head lately. Well, I'm always in my head, but I tend to over think on everything. I'd equate it to some sort of calculative deductive reasoning, but I'm not that inquisitive, or even that motivated.
The Red Sweater re-work
How do you all feel about re-working vintage garments?
I LOVE restoring vintage garments. There is nothing better for me than giving new life to a garment that has been around longer than me twice over. I also love repairing or taking a garment from graveyard status and re-working it to give it new life. When the person who gets it is thrilled with the results, there's no better feeling in the world.
As I was working on some of the many things I made and attempted to make for myself for Camp Hollywood last month, one project I did got a lot of unexpected attention!
My friend, and dance teacher is working out a trade with me. She brought me this sweater: mid-late 50's, cropped, short sleeve, cashmere, and cheery red. SO cute! Only, a sweater like this was made to be worn by itself. Meaning, nothing beneath. Lets just say that with wear, and a lot of dancing, it's had it's share of stress.
Day Project: Canvas Wardrobe Cover
Good morning lovely people. For some reason, I went to sleep right after work last evening, and woke up at 11:30 that evening. So I simply decided to stay up and do laundry, cut out a skirt (more on that later) and wash my hair. All things I put off.
I'm good at putting things off, but when I get up the gumption to do something, I feel such a since of satisfaction!
This canvas cover is one of those projects. I know I told you all that I bought a bolt of heavy duty canvas a while ago. I decided to push myself and make the cover that I'd been planning for months. Now, I planned on making two: One for the shelf in the bedroom I'm suing as a closet (I know, two closets are not enough!) and one for my fabric in my sewing space. I'm changing the shelf in the fabric area in a couple of months so I opted out of making a cover for that shelf.
My inspiration was the actual kind of covers that are sold for these industrial shelves.
I'm good at putting things off, but when I get up the gumption to do something, I feel such a since of satisfaction!
This canvas cover is one of those projects. I know I told you all that I bought a bolt of heavy duty canvas a while ago. I decided to push myself and make the cover that I'd been planning for months. Now, I planned on making two: One for the shelf in the bedroom I'm suing as a closet (I know, two closets are not enough!) and one for my fabric in my sewing space. I'm changing the shelf in the fabric area in a couple of months so I opted out of making a cover for that shelf.
My inspiration was the actual kind of covers that are sold for these industrial shelves.
A fifties (wedding) dress fairy tale.
Once upon a time, there was a lovely bride to be.
Amy was her name and what did she see?
Amy was her name and what did she see?
She came across a dress from the mid-centurty,
an ivory satin gown that needed TLC.
an ivory satin gown that needed TLC.
Calico dress commission.
I love my followers. You all are the most supportive and interested folks I've come across. I'm happy that you all get what you do from my ramblings, and it thrills me when you seek me out and trust me with a garment to make.
One of my readers/etsy customers commissioned me for a dress. The event she wanted to wear it to was a WWII even in her town. She was frustrated with the lack of items in her size, and wanted a nice respectful period dress.
I was the person to call.
Notches Demystified.
I remember when I first started to sew.
I'd make my stitch, let's say, on a sleeve seam, and be puzzled as to why it felt tight around the arm. I sewed it correctly, the sleeve fit, and I'd matched the appropriate notches for what the pattern called. That's just it. Often, people take the placement notches of matching a pattern piece with the actual notches that are used to help the drape of a garment. A lot of times, new sewers (and some of us seasoned ones, lets be honest) don't see the value in notching a seam that calls for it. A lot of us don't know what seams to notch and which ones not to notch. Some of us notch them all, and that is just a whole world of hurt. I figured it was time to talk about this simple and rather mis understood sewing technique, explain how I use it, and give you all some insights into why its a valuable simple tool in garment construction.
First off, lets define a notch.
In this post, I'll refer to a notch as a subtraction of the fabric from the seam allowance that allows for the stitched seam to lay unobstructed. Hey, what's unobstructed? I'll get to that later.A 1930s baseball dress for a vintage baseball game.
Good morning everyone.
It's friday, and you know what that means, a recap of the making of my repro dress!
July Goodies Showcase!
And now I get to share some of the goodies I acquired last month.
I know that I didn't post a June Pattern Showcase, and right now, quite frankly, I forget what I bought in June! I actually don't think I got many, if any patterns that month. I've been on a kick of getting goodies for the apartment. And yes, I'm still waiting to hear back on my couch.
This is a lovely novelty WWII postcard. Gotta love these! |
I'm back!
Well lookie here, I'm blogging again!
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