Now is the time where people start to reflect on the past year. You see all those retrospectives on tv, and all the crap 'these people died' montages online.
I guess I'm one of those who reflect as well. I think on all that happened this tail end of 2011 and my head reels. Finding a job, preparing to move, dancing and having fun. Getting a dog. So much stuff, good and bad has happened to me, and I guess now is the time I purge myself of what is not working and fix what I can.
With that said, I should let you all know that I'm going to surrender Taylor. I've had him for over a month now, and even when I had him the first week, I felt this was not a good fit. I tried because I don't like to give up, but I do acknowledge when something is not working. He's a different dog from my lifestyle and I'm a different owner from what he needs. He's a great dog, but he keeps 'toying' with the cat, and the cat comes first.
I can't figure out what he needs and I want him to have a happy life. He's not getting that with me. I know he will be adopted quickly. He's a great animal, so I'm not worried about his future.
Looking back on it, I think I rushed my choice. I really just wanted Georgia back. I still miss her. More so than having any dog. I guess I was not ready yet.
I also decided to purge myself of some toxic people in my life. You all remember that. It's been very cleansing, and still I have work to do on it. I guess I'm in a 'burn your bridges' state of mind. I'm sick of people dicking me over, it's my turn to cut them loose.
From there I look at this tough year and I see what I want to work on, what I want to do, and what I feel will fulfill me
- Get better at dancing. I'm loving dancing, and I feel I can become a student of it, so I want to put more hours into it as often as I can.
- Move from my apartment. This is in the works. I just need to find a place that suits me, and not settle for whatever I can get because I think that might be my only option. I have a habit of doing that in a lot of aspects in my life.
- Flush out my animation reel. I've been making animation connections as best I can, and even though I have this illustration job, animation is my first love.
- Put together a children's book portfolio. I've met quite a few people in the children's book illustration field over the last few weeks and I want to use that. I'm going to get back to my BFA and put together a new and more polished body of children's book work.
- Complete one of the novels I've been working on. Okay, I'm not a big writer really, but I do love a story. I've been working on and off of a fantasy story since I was sixteen. I want to finally finish it. If anyone would like to read it, I'll provide details later. I could use the feedback
- Get a car/license. I don't drive. I really have no desire to drive, but I should learn and get a moto.
That is my personal list of self improvement.
It's a lot to do, but I got so much done on last year's
list that I feel I can get this one done too.
Anyone else have a list of resolutions?
Sorry to hear about your dog, but I understand your reasoning ... I had to do the same once with a bird. (My other bird was freaking out because the new bird was bigger than him and thus was going to be the "alpha" bird.)
ReplyDeleteI also like the sense of renewal that comes with a new year, and the holiday break gives me time to reflect. I haven't nailed down my "list" but I am working on it!
I want to encourage you that you are doing the right thing with Taylor. I hope you don't encounter judgmental people over your decision, but, if you do, know in your heart that he needs what you cannot provide and letting him go is the only way of helping him find the family that will be perfect for him.
ReplyDeleteGreat list Shelley. I understand about Taylor. My sister got a Maltese last year and I have (secretly) coveted that dog ever since. I've dog-sat for her and have visited her many times just to play with the dog. I've thought about getting my own dog many times, but I am not in a position to commit to caring for a dog right now. My 2012 list is short but heavy--get healthier and finish major projects. I know I don't stand alone, but I such a procrastinator. You've accomplished a lot this year! I believe 2012 will be even better for you. You've got great insight and vision. HAPPY 2012!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the understanding on Taylor. I surrendered him this morning. He was pretty calm that entire night and a friend said to me, "he knows". The intake person was pleased with his look and temperament. He said, "he needs a family". I cried a bit after, but I know he will get what he needs from someone else.
ReplyDeleteShelley, Michael and I once adopted a dog and gave it back. It had more troubles than we could handle at that point (we were very inexperienced) and hadn't been carefully screened beforehand. It felt bad at the time (we cried) but I've never regretted it. There's a dog out there for you that's right for you, and I know you'll find that dog eventually.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Peter. That makes me feel a lot better.
ReplyDeleteIt's such a difficult but liberating decision to cut toxic people from your life. I get that.
ReplyDeleteBest for the coming year, I always like to set a few tasks for myself, too. :)
Haven't made a list yet. Some of my toxic peeps are family. lol But the teen years don't last forever, right?
ReplyDeleteSorry about you and the pup. I always feel like dogs need another dog or lots of people around all the time. I sure wish my sister had given hers up for adoption. Don't get me wrong, the dog has a good life and she loves him, but it has never been a good fit.
I'd wait on getting another dog until you have a new place and get yourself settled and over your other pup. Good luck in the coming year!
Hi, Shelley, I've followed your blog for about 6 months but I don't think I have ever left a comment. I'd love to look at your novel and give feedback. I don't have any great writing skill beyond love of reading.
ReplyDeleteThis is a blog where an agent gives feedback to aspiring novelists. She's brutal, and it's a lot of fun to read other people's bad ideas and try to understand why they are so bad. http://queryshark.blogspot.com/ And then to not make the same mistake in our own writing....
I gave up our last dog after 3 days. If it's not a fit, it's just not. I felt terribly guilty, too.
Wishing you a happpy new year, Shelley! I am so sorry about the dog--I know what it is like to have 'puppy-hunger.' I think you did the right thing. You cared enough to give the dog a better home. I hope 2012 is amazing for you!
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